Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize