I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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