jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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