Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
