My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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