we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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