soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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