i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
