Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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