You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
