the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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