Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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