Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dignity is for republicans.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize