I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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