and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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