I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
