used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
