Whod you bang
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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