he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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