a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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