Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
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You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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