Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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