I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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