Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
