does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
