And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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