He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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