so explain again why im purple
no
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Who died my cat blue again?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
