i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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