The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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