i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
