please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize