I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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