I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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