The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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