Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
