I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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