I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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