Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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