Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
