Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
How's work?
Spinning.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
