Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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