called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
