...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
