it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
