last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
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