My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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