What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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