How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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