OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
