He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
false alarm. still invincible.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize