Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
