I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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