maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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