It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
