Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
