I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
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The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
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Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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