An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
