he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
