I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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