It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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