just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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